Venius

Finally I get the chance to make up a nickname for Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon. Caniah! Perfection!

Anyway, Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon had a wedding in the Bahamas. He bought her a 2.7 Million Dollar ring! I didn't even know he had that much cash.

And the whole thing was so sudden! I mean you've never even seem them both in public together. I mean, the tabbloids haven't even made up lies about them, and that means something.

Last night on American Idol, Paual Abdul was either drunk or has the ability to see into the future. Hands down, SHE WAS DRUNK! Ok, so all 5 Idols had to perform 2 songs last night. And after the first song of one person, she was takling about the second performance.

Randy Jackson corrected her (Thank god). And even when every was laughing at Paula, she still acted slow. She needs 50 glasses tonight either of 100!

Paula, next time tell me when I'm going to die.

Ok, Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana apologized to everyone for all of the commotion that came along with that snack eating photoshoot for VanityFair. The tom-toms were covered up and the photos were of her back.

But she said that she didn't know she was going to do it. And that they tricked her.

Well, BOTH of her parents were there and BOTH were watching her!

So, why would she just lie like that?

Well, I've got news for you Miss' Montana, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD OF THE ZODIAC AND GOD INSTEAD OF THAT MICKEY MOUSE AND DORA WORLD YOU LIVE IN!

Deaths of college students have been occuring lately. And at every crime scene, there is a smiley face. Each one different. Do we have us some serial killers on the loose?

The crime have happened by different people. Due to different locations at the same time. How could they be in one place about 900 yards away and then at another 500 yards away in 1-2 minutes?

The killers has been targeting just about all male, atheletic and high grade point averaged students.

Is this jealousy, or just an evil act of sin.

The killer has drowned every person.

POSSIBLE CHARACTERISTICS OF THE KILLER

1-Strong

2-Smart
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Please be on the look-out for these killers.

Steps Make sure you're not dehydrated, if you are it will be more difficult for tears to come out. Hold your eye-lids open with your fingers, stay like this for 2 mins. Do not get your face into a weird position that feels uncomfortable; instead, relax the muscles in your face. Think of something sad e.g. a close family member dying. If you happen to be an abnormally happy person, try staring at one bright spot without blinking. This'll make your eyes water. Think of a memory that you had and you might start crying because you wish you were back in that time. Try to expose your eyes to the air as much as possible. Keep your eyes open as long as you can. Don't close them until tears form under your eyes.Keeping your eyes open will dry them out making them sting. This is good. Don't close your eyes when they start to hurt or no tears will form. Try Crying along to a movie where the actor is crying, for practice. Make a crying face, which usually involves closing your eyes and scrunching your face. Turn the corners of your lips down a little. Try to force the inner corners of your eyebrows upwards. Wrinkle up your chin like people do right before they start bawling. This may look faked. Start sobbing (make your crying noises and take deep breaths). Breathe in constantly as if you are hyperventilating. Imagine tears coming from your eyes and when you feel them get moist, try to squeeze them out. Try yawning repeatedly. This can make your eyes water. Cut an onion up a few moments before you have to tear up. Buy tear drop enhancers. This is what a lot of actors use when the are in a sob scene. You can find them at your local grocery store.



Tips If you are having trouble getting yourself to cry, sometimes it's better to not cry, but to act like you are fighting back the tears, people sometimes are touched more by this. Think of something sad, espically something that is specifically sad to you (a dead person or pet you enjoyed the company of when they were around), or maybe something not quite as terrible, but still very sad (a small, very cute puppy being hit by a car). This mostly works if you are more sensitive than most people. Don't think of something too sad or you will end up really crying! hold your eyes open and hold your upper eyelashes up and stare at a white spot. It hurts but it works very good! Cutting an unwashed onion is very effective in provoking tears. You can also try blinking really fast -- this sometimes produces tears. Flare your nostrils a little. Pinching close to your eyes like you are trying to pop a zit works very well. Think of the breakup, that exact moment, that will make you want to cry. If you can, try and pull your eyelashes out and over your bottom eyelid; it makes your eyes water. An old theater trick is to discreetly pluck a nose hair. If all else fails, try to inconspicuously bite your tounge or pinch yourself hard enough to cry, but not hard enough to cause highly painful or permanent damage! Remember, if you are trying to cry to as a distraction and whatever you were trying to hide gets settled, do not suddenly stop crying. This may seem a bit obvious and will blow your cover. If you are wearing contacts and have clean hands, you can gently hold a finger on each contact lens for 10-15 seconds, if necessary move the lenses around (only slightly). This produces plenty of tears but will obviously look strange in public. Try not to blink for a while. If you keep yourself from blinking long enough, your eyes will start to water naturally. Pinching yourself or doing something pain related may also help. Try putting Vicks VapoRub under your eyes, NOT IN THEM!!! But right underneath, and the tears will fall like rain. It's the menthol in it,it's starts working instantly. It'll work really well if you hold your eyes open for a couple seconds to really get the vapors in there. Wobbling your bottom lip really adds to the effect. If all else fails, just take some of your saliva (spit) and smear it around your eyes.



Warnings It may not be a good idea to try these tactics if you wear contacts. If thinking about somone who died makes you too sad don't try it Do not misuse or abuse this technique around friends. Abuse can ruin relationships and damage trust. Don't get the Vick's in your eyes it will sting wash out with water if it happens. 



Things You'll Need Contact lenses(optional) Onions (optional) Eyelashes (optional) The will to cry Feelings

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Let's all wish a very Happy Birthday to the legendary Peace Sign. The sign (consisting of 3 lines in a circle) looks like a chicken's footprints in a circle. This sign, (originaly created by Gerald Holtom) was meant to be Gerald Holtom as a "man in despair,". And the circle respresenting the world.

Happy 50th Birthday! You hippie...

-Feature on Happy Birthday section-

Miley Cyrus does a topless photoshoot, at the age of 15, for VanityFair Magazine. She will be featured on the cover of VanityFair soon. Miley Cyrus is taking this dangerous act of stupidity and making it her own. I guess after the racey photos of her leaked out, she wanted to do something else to make everybody forget about them.

Well Miley, you're number one.

(And the predators will be watching you)

Solana Beach, California was hit by a shark. But a man was bit by it. After that dreadful incident, Sand Diego County Sheriff's officers are patroling the beach throughout this weekend in search of the shark.

The man bit by the shark died before help could get to him.

The last shark occassion was in 1994.

-David Martin is featured on under the, Let's Remember, minor panel.-

Ok, Madonna has a concert coming. Now you tell me, isn't she to old? She's like 50 that's 4 or 5 years close to my grandmother's age!!! The truth of the matter is that Madonna just needs to either make a small business and do that from home or a reality show. Commercials for skin care products would even be rewarding. And she might even score a role on the Serial Life.

But you know Madonna, she's going to walk in pumps no matter what the age.

You all must by now know her by the name, Hannah Montana. Or even by her given name, Destiny Hope Cyrus (Now changed to Miley Cyrus). But we all know her now as the Billion Dollar Baby. Miss' Montana is at the top of the magazine's richest kid celebrities at a wopping 1 BILLION DOLLARS for her worth. But, sadly, Miley's mom says that her money is invested and can't be touched until she is 18.

Poor Miley, I guess she's going to have to buy a new wig some other way.